January was a blur and February is already speeding by. I’m still trying to focus on my One Little Word and savor each moment, so I’m recording some of the little things that are filling our days. Here’s what we’ve been up to lately!
Listening… I finished up the S-Town podcast this morning. I listened to the first four episodes with Jeff almost a year ago while we were on a road trip, but then he finished the last episodes without me and I never went back and listened to the end. I decided to start back over with episode one and listened to all 7 episodes in just a few days. It was an interesting story that was also extremely frustrating at times. I found myself both loving and hating John B.
Eating… I just finished a round of Whole30 and now I’m trying really hard not to eat all the things. This weekend, I helped my mom, who owns a bakery, work on her Valentine’s Day orders and ate way too many cookies in the process.
Cooking… I’m planning to cook a pot roast tomorrow and will be making some kind of sweet treat for Jeff for Valentine’s Day. Steaks were on sale this weekend, so I bought some and will be cooking a fancy steak dinner for Valentine’s Day that I’ll be sharing later this week.
Wanting… Jeff and I are wanting to sleep train Jack so that he moves from co-sleeping with us to sleeping in his own crib. It’s a bittersweet kind of thing. I love his little baby snuggles and I like him being so close to me at night – I can literally reach over and feel him breathing and hear every sound he makes. At the same time, he wiggles all night long, which keeps Jeff awake, and he usually ends up sleeping on the couch. I feel really guilty for basically kicking my husband out of the bed so that Jack and I can get a good night’s sleep. I found this really good blog post with tips for transitioning from co-sleeping to the crib and we are planning to start tonight.
Needing… Jeff and I need a quick little vacation. Hopefully, we’ll be able to get away for a few days to celebrate our anniversary next month.
Thinking… According to Steven Spielberg, “Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we’re too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone.” As a high school teacher, I see how detrimental technology can be to people’s ability to interact with others and think critically every day. My students can’t function for 10 minutes without their headphones in or their phones in front of their faces. I’m also noticing that Jack is constantly grabbing for my cell phone, which is making me question what I am teaching him with my daily actions. I don’t want him to just see his mom staring at a screen all the time. I’m thinking it’s time to evaluate how much time I spend on my phone. There’s an interesting article about how cell phones and technology are creating distances between parents and kids here.
Enjoying… I am 100% living for the weekends right now. I enjoy my time at home with Jack and Jeff so much, and it has become even more enjoyable since I decided to stop bringing work home. I am refusing to grade papers or answer emails once I leave the school in the afternoons and it has made my life so much happier. I am trying really hard to not bring home a bad attitude from work, but I haven’t been as successful with that goal yet. I’m trying to leave work and all its frustrations at the school and enjoy my time at home.
Growing… Jack is 29 weeks old this week! He is getting so big. He can almost sit up by himself and he’s trying so hard to crawl. He’s also jabbering all the time. So far, his favorite thing to say is “bababa,” which we think is code for “bottle.” He still loves music and giggles when we sing silly songs to him or tickle his belly.
Feeling… I wish I could tell you that everything is rainbows and flowers over here, but it most definitely is not. Right now, I feel like I’m barely getting by on most days. Work is stressful and frustrating. I feel defeated when I leave the school every day and I’m starting to really question my career choices. There is constantly something that I need to be doing or something that I forgot to do or didn’t have time to do correctly. I’m not doing a good job of eating well or working out and I’m failing at reaching even the simplest of goals (like my February goal of making the bed every day, which has only happened twice this month). I’m also feeling some major mom guilt every time I drop Jack off at daycare. At the same time, I’m so proud of Jeff for doing well and advancing at work, I’m filled with joy when I hear Jack giggle and see him smile, and I am hopeful that I can find a solution for work that lets me be home with him more often. Life is messy and busy and good, and I’m experiencing all the feelings that come with those things.
Wish Listing… This swimsuit is on my list for when I reach my next weight loss goal of losing 20 pounds.
Planning… I know that it’s early, but I have already started a board on Pinterest for Jack’s first birthday party. I’m thinking that we’ll do a Dr. Seuss theme and ask people for books instead of toys to try to build up his library.