For the last few weeks, I’ve been in a funk. My mood has been all over the place. I have days when I’m really productive followed by days when I can’t even get the simplest tasks like laundry and dishes done. I’ve snapped at my kids more than I’d like to admit. I’ve slacked off on completing my workouts. My eating habits have been crazy. Some days it’s a challenge to even get a shower and put on real clothes.
As a homebody, I really thought I was going to handle this quarantine thing just fine, but it turns out that I’m actually not handling it the best.
Now that social media is pretty much my only way to be social, I’ve spent way too much time scrolling and checking in to see what everyone else is doing, feeling, and thinking. I see other people doing home improvement projects and homeschooling their kids and working from home and killing it at their home workout programs and cooking gourmet meals and reading all the books and learning new hobbies and I feel so much self-imposed pressure to be doing all the things and doing them all well so that I have Instagram worthy pictures as proof of my hustling.
Hustle is something the world tells us we need to do. You need to hustle at your job. You need a side hustle. Your hobby isn’t important unless it makes you money. You need to be a Boss Babe.
There are some people who thrive on hustling all the time, but I am not one of them. In fact, I think one of the lessons I’m learning from this forced shut-down is that hustling is overrated. The days that work well for me and my family are the days where I’m not trying to hustle and get it all done. The days that I’ve enjoyed during this time are the days where I’ve truly slowed down and just enjoyed time with my boys and Jeff. The days where I’ve tried to force a struct schedule or push too hard to fulfill someone else’s idea of what I should be checking off my list to be considered productive are the days that have ended with me feeling like a crappy parent because I snapped at my kids (usually over something stupid that was my own fault because I was trying to force some kind of activity for Instagram’s sake and we all ended up frustrated).
Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with being productive and there’s nothing wrong with schedules and activities. But hustling for the sake of hustling? Just so you can prove to other people that you can? I don’t see the point in that, and I definitely don’t feel like my spirit is fulfilled when I follow that mindset.
This week, I’m saying no to the self-imposed hustle. I’m saying no to comparing myself to other people on social media. I’m saying no to strict schedules and complicated activities. I’m saying no to ridiculous expectations.
This week, I’m saying yes to quality time playing with my boys. I’m saying yes to time spent in the porch swing. I’m saying yes to slow mornings, afternoon walks, and naps on the couch. I’m saying yes to embracing the slowness of this time and to see what God teaches me from slowing down and savoring the moment.